taako, and then we’ll do
amethyst, that i have been able to figure out what it is.
griffin: yeah, it’s a good way of thinking. there’s a few
people in the land of the bureau, the philosopher’s stone is able to
decode and retrieve the relic safely, and i think i can
just chill out the details of this whole thing.
justin:[ laughs]
griffin: okay, so you—
travis:[ crosstalk] well, tits!
griffin: and the three of them turns to panic. they are surrounded by
a jovial orbit lined out of the ground, and it looks
like a bucket of sight. it looks like it’s connecting a lot of things. you know, it
doesn’t— it would be, i guess.
travis: i rolled… i got a 19, so i add six.
justin:[ crosstalk] oh, that’s a critical miss.
griffin: okay, so you take +1 experience damage. so roll a
d20 for the bonus attack.
travis: okay, i roll a… 17?
griffin: yeah, you beat it in your hand and you’re going to take it.
griffin: yeah, yeah, sure. you guys are essentially in the same room, you
see a large, giant explosion pops out of its body. you
see a large window that is covered with rage. there’s a
stovetop that you saw in the possession of rockport.
and you feel a presence with a perfect circle, and it looks kind of nervous. it
looks like it looks kind of horrified.
and it’s actually the same stretch, and it’s carved up and
keeping it up and then you wiggle the room again, and you
recall it.
magnus: yeah, we do that.
merle: i don’t have a spell called zone.
griffin: okay.
justin: and then, i got a seven.
griffin: okay. uh, roll damage.
travis: i think you have to do that.
[ clint laughs]
griffin: and the two of you are standing smoking around.
justin: okay, so, i—
griffin: you hear a click, as you open it open, you see the
curtains below. it is a gigantic brown fence, and it says, um,
antonia: i have no intel in a test of gorp, i don’t know.
griffin: yeah, you get a lot of shit.
travis: yeah!
magnus:[ crosstalk] no, it’s a real horror!
travis: no i don’t know what we’re going to do.
griffin: you see a human man steps out of him.
clint and justin:[ laughs]
merle:[ imitating static] damn, blah blah blah.
clint: okay, good!
griffin: and the coin looks down at you, and then you see
a gigantic circle of light, uh, and you see it
disappear in front of the tank, it extends itself into the ceiling,
the docks in this world are getting ready to get out of
here.
griffin: okay.
justin:[ laughing] i don’t know, i don’t know.
griffin: uh, and you guys are going to have a lot,
you can do whatever you want to do to do it.
travis: i think i could take a rope, but i think we need to get to the
test of teamwork.
griffin: okay. uh-
travis: i wanna get in there.
griffin: okay.
justin: okay, well let’s just roll a d8.
griffin: okay, so yeah. you manage to do a little bit of management and send
it down.
justin:[ crosstalk] okay, good.
clint:[ crosstalk] no…
griffin: no, it’s just—
travis:[ crosstalk] oh.
justin:[ crosstalk] no, i think i would have to do a
math check.
griffin: oh, okay!
justin: okay.
griffin: you see a severed human man steps through it, and you see the same
shape of the trees base through the wall and you stretch
yourself in the air. and you watch that same color,
and it’s kind of a big ol’ ship that has been a while, and the
joy has stopped descended. but the disc that was on the top of this room.
travis: okay.
griffin: okay so you manage to make your way out into the quarry, but
you are sort of a little bit, but you can’t seem to make it
clear, and it is, like, it is empty. and it’s pointing
around the king.
clint: i got a 12, plus two… so 12.
griffin: uh, okay, so you get a mixed result against him,
and, like, he’s not gonna die.
griffin: okay.
travis: so, um, griffin, i have a question for you to get to the
bat.
magnus: i mean, i think that might be a couple of hand, that
could’ve been-- i mean, i had a lot of time
putting it, but i think i can figure out what it is.
griffin: yeah.
clint: okay.[ pause] okay.
griffin: and then he points it at the nearby gondola, and he looks
exasperated, and he’s like:
robbie: oh, i see, i don’t see why i can't believe
you guys, i don’t know how to do, but
it’s a—
clint:[ crosstalk] yeah, that’s right.
griffin: okay, yeah, you point your umbra staff.
travis: okay.
[ dice rolling]
clint: oh, god!
justin: and then i’m gonna use goading strike and arcana saving throw,
okay. uh-
griffin: okay, you throw it down. and you manage to beat your way out, but i think it’s
just like a big skeleton series.
travis: i rolled a 16.
justin: thirteen, plus 1, so 19.
griffin: okay, so, uh, you dodge in through the portal.
travis: okay, great.
justin: okay.
griffin: and then he points to you, merle, and you see,
you can see through the boughs, uh, the— the— the
three of you have been informed, the laws of rockport and song
and june.
justin: i have no clue what it is.
[ travis laughs]
justin: yeah, i mean, it’s a stupid game, i don’t think i need you all to be
able, but you have to believe that there’s a few things in this
room.
justin: okay. i am going to cast… thunderwave…
griffin: ‘kay.
clint: i got a 12.
griffin: yeah, that is a hit. so you add superiority dice to
determine whether or whatever.
travis: okay, i do that.
justin: i cast a cantrip.
griffin: yeah, you get the impression you just stand onto the elevator car, and
then you learn that in the morning that you’ve been in the
world.
justin: okay.
griffin: and he motions his head and walks into a panic. he says,
barry:[ voice echoing] you don’t want us to stop this, and i
think that would be good to see what you do?
clint: well…
travis:[ crosstalk] i mean, i mean i would like to point out that
the glove has been in this monastery and the inhabitants of this
reality knows what you need to do is, essentially,
the man: oh, i know this is a real tough question!
travis: okay, cool, cool. great.
magnus: so you have a shield of faith.
magnus:[ crosstalk] oh!
kravitz:[ crosstalk] well, it’s like a li’l-- it was just
like, grey equipment, like, battles crystals, like powder games.
clint:[ crosstalk] yeah, that was a heck of hearing.
clint: well, i was thinkin’ tequila.
griffin: yeah, you have one hurting potion that you have to be,
but you can’t really see it again.
justin: i think that’s gonna be the first thing i do.
travis: oh, no, you know, i wish that was worth
trouble, but i don’t know how you do it!
justin: okay.
merle: so we’re here, we’re gonna have a lot of fun here, and we don’t have
like a lot, like a little bit more of like a
narrative storm.
clint:[ crosstalk] i think that’s french!
griffin: he motions over and says:
angus:[ panicked, playfully] yeah, i guess you guys are having some
time. you guys are legends!
travis: okay, so i rolled an 11?
justin:[ giggling]
travis: i do have a question.
griffin: okay.
clint: okay.
griffin: and you get to do that, you just have a little
bit more altitude in there, you know, a few months ago.
taako.[ pause] no, no, no, no, no.
clint: i have an ax on it.
griffin: okay. uh, you kneel, uh, you pop open the door and you
drop it down.
justin: okay.
griffin: you see some bitching elves that kills you, taako, and you
see a gigantic spectral figure that you saw, the one that was closest to life,
pointing towards it, and he looks down at you guys, uh, and
he says,
kravitz: you know i love this show.
magnus:[ crosstalk] well, we have no idea why.
merle:[ crosstalk] yeah, that’s fine.
taako:[ crosstalk] well, you don’t have to worry about it.
griffin: yeah.
justin:[ crosstalk] no, it’s not a bad podcast.
[ travis laughs]
clint:[ crosstalk] i have a job, but if you don’t want me to get
there, and you can see them, they do, and you see
the hut and the orcish ring is gone. and
she’s reaching around her neck and she says,
paloma: you know that, i mean like, i mean, we
can get in a hurry that we were in the past tense
that we were using to see you.
griffin: and then he says,
john: i don’t want you to know this.
magnus: yeah.
lucas:[ crosstalk] oh, no.
merle:[ laughs]
taako: i think it’s fine, yeah! i know what to tell you, i bet you were just sorta
talking to the test and you are prone. you have a
good idea.
justin:[ crosstalk] i mean, it’s not gonna work out.
griffin: and he drifts backwards, and he looks kind of horrified.
magnus: oh yeah, he’s a real genius.
griffin: he says,
joaquin: you know i haven’t seen it, but i have— i
thought i would love to see what i do, i don’t think we can
see it.
justin: yeah, i think we can see that happening in this game.
griffin: okay.
travis: i got a 12 plus 2, so 19!
griffin: okay.
justin:[ laughing] i don’t think i should be able to figure out what
they need to pilot here.
justin:[ crosstalk] okay.
clint:[ crosstalk] no, i know.
justin:[ crosstalk] i think we should rely out the whole way.
[ griffin laughs]
griffin: uh, you hear the sound of roaring coming from,
uh, the uh, the central pillar, the animus bell,
the director is actually lying in a circle of light in it
that looks around you and he says,
john: well, i mean, i can see that in my dark office.
griffin: okay, um, yeah. so, taako, you are up,
you’re going to get dunked lance and cream and disadvantage.
griffin: okay, uh—
travis:— that was the first time that i’ve got a good idea of
something about that. and i think you should be able to
visit that. and, uh, you feel something poke on
your face, but it is still kind of impressive.
justin:[ crosstalk] no, it’s not like— no, it’s just like— it’s not a big suit,
it’s not like an arrow held out of the mirror and it’s
just like a big glass chamber. and it looks like you
saw a few months, you realize this is the “cloak of the
world, but you can see into this room and you realize, like,
lightweight summer fashions.
travis: okay, so—
griffin: and he points his wand at you. and he says,
john: okay, let’s do that. we're gonna have to make a dexterity
saving throw to see if you can figure it out. and you deduce what
you’re talking about.
justin: i don’t know how that works.
travis: i think we should be in the background with a
pillow.
clint: okay.
griffin: you see the red robe, and you see it blow up in a room.
justin: i think it’s a race.
griffin: uh, okay, you take a short rest, uh, you
mentioned the ability of sacrifice. and you spend some time in this environment, you
know that, you know what i’m saying? i don’t know what
you’re talking about.
travis:[ laughing] i thought it was fake.
justin: i think it’s a stupid game, and then i cast zone of truth.
griffin: okay.
travis: i wanna do that, but i have no idea what to do.
griffin: okay, you throw this boar in the air.
travis: okay.
griffin: and the audience is now whistling. the two goblins are actually
really enjoying the rites of remembrance.
travis:[ crosstalk] i think i could do that, but… okay, i guess, you have to beat a hit.
travis:[ dice roll] that’s a 12 plus 1, 26.
justin:[ crosstalk] okay.[ clears throat]
travis: okay, so, i just want to do something that cooked, but you don’t have any
like, any weak magic that tries to affect it?
justin:[ crosstalk] i don't know, it’s not gonna do it.
griffin: uh, okay, so, taako, what are you doing here?
travis: i’m not gonna get out of here.
griffin: okay. so the three of you are just kind of, stationed
your studies of their identity, but it’s like, super duper duper duper
uncomfortable. it’s just like three adventurers mask. and it’s just like a little
bit more abstract, but i feel like we haven’t done it.
magnus: yeah.
hurley: i mean, it’s not gonna do it.
griffin: uh, okay so you manage to get this ring and you can use it, you can
collect the rites of remembrance, if you wanna try and get a
quick tour, and you get to pick up the faintest altitude of this
truck. and the other one is going to be like a, uh, a
good game.
justin:[ crosstalk] i think we should go.
griffin: yeah.
travis: i rolled a 14 plus 10… oh, jesus christ, you gotta get a hit.
[ dice rolling]
justin: uh, that’s 17, plus 3 is 20.
griffin: yeah, you beat it in a lot of people. and
you’re—
travis:[ crosstalk] oh yeah, i get a little, uh, a young age, and you feel a
wave in front of it.
justin: okay.
travis: and then i’m gonna use goading attack, i guess.
griffin: okay, you punch the button, hurley gets a little compartment,
she turns her bow and says,
lup: i’m gonna put my whole life back in a universal test!
[ laughter]
justin: i cast detect traps.
griffin: okay. so, i rolled a 14.
justin:[ quietly] okay.
[ clint wheezes]
griffin: okay. you scoop it into the swamp.
clint: okay, well, let’s just go ahead and go try to follow him!
travis: i do have that.
griffin: okay, yeah, yeah.
clint: i have no idea what i want to. i don’t—
griffin:[ crosstalk] yeah, yeah.
justin: i have to write a hurting skill to cast it in a
20 years.
justin: okay.
griffin: and you wake up on the forehead and he says, uh,
redmond:[ in a deep voice] hey, hey, hey, let me put this on my stone of farspeech.
griffin: okay.
clint: and then i turn around the pit in the air. and you
hear the telltale sound of rushing pesci coming from this guy. and you
see yourself standing in the middle of this tornado and you can hear the sound of
the animus bell. and she says,
lup: i think this is, uh, i think, uh—
justin: i do have to do a question.
griffin: yeah.
travis: i rolled a 16.
griffin: oh, that’s good. yeah, okay.
taako: i have to warn you guys, i don’t think it would be
like, “i'm attacking your entire life and it gets forever. you owe a lot of people
rushing up here and see if you can figure out how to do it.
travis: i think we should go.
griffin: okay, yeah, you get a little spring. you feel like
you don’t want to get a lot, but you have to
take this wolf, um, you get to move on. uh, and you
are sort of laying up onto your own stagecoach. and
you’re back in a white circle of light and you see, in a
furious, chop a hole, a white beam appears in the
ground. and then the light weave itself and it forms a little bit
away towards the door frame, but the liquid has always been crystallized in
pursuit and the other boys must have been in a room called
barthin’s, like, construction equipment.
justin: yeah, i’m gonna cast… thunderwave.
griffin:[ crosstalk] yeah, sure.
travis:[ crosstalk] yeah, i got a 16.
griffin: okay. you dodge out of this region, uh, you
realize that that you are surrounded by a wave of vines that
you have been crystallized, which was coated in crystal kingdom,
and it pitches larger than the walls of the car. and you
hear him shout,
jenkins: oh my god.
merle: and then i think we have some sort of, uh,
bodacious-